Cranky Cuss Cuz?

Looking back on the past week, it really has been an amazing one.  I finished my last full day of the school year 4 school days before my kiddos.  Friday was the end of year party at my school.  After bbq hamburgers at 2:00 in the afternoon it was announced that the Sunshine Committee wanted to play a game.  Amazing how fast a bunch of teachers can flee.  At first, I wasn't too keen on the idea myself.  I helped clean up a little and then decided to take a peek in the gym to see who was in on the big event.

Not a whole lot of takers other than the principal, secretaries, those with the game idea, and a handful of others.  My desire to support those with the idea was greater than that to preserve my comfort level, so I decided to join in.  I really had a great time getting to know the group a lot better.  The Special Education teachers were among those who fled the scene the moment the word "game" was mentioned.

We played "Werewolves of Miller Hollow."  I was the hunter, which meant that if the powers that be decided to take me out, I could take someone out with me.  It wasn't until the end that I became the target and either despite my protestations and efforts to move suspicions from me or because of it - I was targeted with 2 werewolves and 1 villager left in the game.  I took out the one werewolf that wasn't linked by Cupid to the remaining villager.  That is, if I had chosen either of the other two people, I would have unwittingly killed both the werewolf and the villager and the only remaining werewolf would have won the game.  As it was, we had a tie between a werewolf and villager.  If all this sounds like nonsense to you - let's chalk  it up to ignorance of the game and not my writing! ;D

I had to order the game from Amazon for nine dollars and some odd cents for Kenzi to play at her 6th grade graduation party next Saturday.  We decided to make it a day of parties with Kylee's birthday party followed by Lexi's birthday party and then Kenzi's graduation party.  And, no, we don't really have 3 kids with birthdays in June.  Steven's really turning 22 on June 10th, but Lexi and Kylee have August birthdays.  Problem is, with the move to my school, all their friends will probably long have forgotten them by August since they don't live by us, and getting invitations to them when they aren't in school becomes a bigger expense and challenge

So then, why am I so cranky, you ask?   Fear of the unknown is plaguing me.  A few months ago I found a lump in my thigh.  I had a cyst removed by my general practitioner about a year before between my neck and shoulder and it has grown back now.  I didn't know who to see for a lump and after talking to my doctor's assistant and having them offer to cut it out for me, I wasn't sure what to do.  Sure, it would save us money to have him do it, but I almost passed out from the cyst and this is quite a bit bigger.  So, I did nothing.  The lump has now gone from something I could feel, to something that is clearly visible and looks to be about the size of an egg.  Last Sunday after Trent getting mad at me and saying he didn't want to lose me and that I needed to get this taken care of (I had also considered the possibility that it could lead to something serious (probably not, but...) so to have him thinking the same thing didn't  help.  Or maybe it did.  I contacted IMC Cancer Center and they emailed me back with an orthopedic surgeon who specializes in sarcomas.  Got my appointment for Thursday.  That's all been moving around in my brain just below the surface at all times.  And sadly, it's effecting my reliability.  I completely forgot that I had offered to usher at  Pioneer Theatre Company for Memorial Weekend with my mom.  She completely forgot too.  Maybe she has to chalk her faux pas to age.

I find myself impatient and short-tempered with Trent when he doesn't remember what I said to him 2 seconds before or isn't listening to me, but deciding how to handle  my problems without my input. 

We went to the temple yesterday.  I had male names that needed initiatory and just female names needing endowment before we have the group ready for sealings.  When given the choice, Trent said he wanted to do initiatory and that he would pick me up in front of the temple when I was finished.  I just missed the session so I was 20 minutes later than he expected me.  When I finally got to the car waiting for  me, not only did he not seem put out, he had gone to Great Harvest and gotten my favorite "orange craisin scones." 

Then, after a graduation party, a trip to Jordan Landing for the girls and arriving back home, we again remembered our desperate need for 9 volt batteries.  He didn't want to go alone, but I still had a newsletter to finish.  I should also mention that I had gone to Sam's earlier in the day and forgot to get them myself earlier.  We had gotten to the point yesterday that 10+ smoke detectors that have begun beeping at us all at once.  To be fair about 4 were going off throughout the house the past couple months, but this weekend, it seemed like they all joined in until I finally couldn't stand the idea of us all dying in our sleep as the house burned down around us.  Unfortunately, out of hearing range, out of mind, because instead of the batteries, I ended up with a whole slough of yard and swim items and no batteries.  So,  even though Trent wasn't thrilled to do it, he showed up with a drink for me when he arrived home.  And then proceeded to replace the batteries.  The house hasn't been this beep-free for months!

That's not to mention the dozen roses he brought me to work last Tuesday saying he knew I needed a pick-me-up,   I am so proud of him when  I see him teach swim lessons and have fun with the kids. 

He has been such a support to me.  I can't imagine what my life would be without him.  Everyone deserves to have that special someone to make them feel cherished and loved.  To all those who have experienced the opposite, I say be patient and don't settle for less!