I survived surgery to have a presumed benign tumor removed from my thigh yesterday. As I was being checked in, the registrar said, "Well, hopefully, everything will go okay for you today." I thought to myself, "Isn't there a better word than 'hopefully' to use at a time like this." Talk about a non-committal, less than enthusiastic statement!
Not that I was overly worried that I would have complications, but any time you are asked for your living will to give directions for what to do if you end up in some kind of vegetative state, well, you can't help but think about the "what ifs."
The tumor was sent to the pathologist and we will hear confirmation that it is benign. It was probably the anesthesia talking when I told the nurse through a few escaping tears that my sister had died from a benign tumor that chose the wrong location - her brain-stem - to grow where they couldn't get at it. I can't help but wonder - having had 3 cysts and now a tumor removed in the past 6 years, if this is just the beginning. I was told these things weren't hereditary after my sister died... but I'm beginning to wonder.
Add to this, Lexi coming to me last night crying saying she was afraid I was going to die. I calmed and reassured her that I was taking care of things so they wouldn't grow or spread and I would be just fine - and I know I will be one way or the other... but it breaks my heart to have my 9 year old wondering.
Anyway, on to the more entertaining events of the past weekend --
Pre-Fathers Day weekend Friday, I begin the morning in the kitchen loading the dishes that my kids didn't quite get to the dishwasher when I hear "drip, drip, drip" at a pretty good rate. I look under the sink and can see where someone has put a towel, that is wet, a candy bowl is almost full of water and water is missing both the rag and dish and dripping on the base of the cabinet. I clear out the items under the sink and find a flashlight to see where it is coming from - looks like the actual faucet itself vs. the hoses. I call Trent and ask if he knows anything about the kitchen sink leaking and he says no. I ask the kids the same question - after all, someone put a rag and dish there. No one knows anything. I propped Big Gulp cup in place. Trent eventually decides to look at it before we decide to call a plumber and says he has to get back to work so we can leave on our trip.
Next, I go put up the tent trailer so I can get it cleaned and loaded. I noticed the previous week when I put it's registration sticker on that we hadn't registered or used it since before it expired in 2011. Even though it was folded up for all that time, it still had a pretty good coating of dust. After using 409 on everything, sans cleaning gloves (big mistake) I hooked up the electricity to make sure the fridge was still working, and then the water. I turned it on, and went back in the trailer. Water was running on the floor from underneath. I ran outside to turn off the water at the faucet and it was running along the hoses underneath it. When we bought it used, we were told it was a 2001. Trent discovered a year or so ago, when looking for parts, that it was actually made in the 90's. Looks pretty good for being that old-- the point is, it wasn't fresh out of the factory, hadn't been winterized in all the time we had it - other than maybe the first year, and when I hooked it up to the hose, I wasn't thinking that our water pressure had been increased since we last tested it. So - it could be one of several or a combination as to why it sprung a leak. End result - we packed out own water in and did the dishes at the spigot at the Green River KOA.
Our weekend get away was meant to be a try out for the trailer before we take it for 8 days to Yellowstone this coming weekend. Steven can't go with us, so he will be holding down the fort here at home.
We pulled out of town 6 hours later than planned with the trailer lights not working. After a stop at autozone and cleaning off the plug, the lights worked fine and we made it to our destination just after 9pm. My brother's advice worked... he says he always spits on the plug before putting it together. That worked for us on the way home so maybe there is something to a little saliva!
We saw Goblin Valley and went to Arches with our 3 little girls and Trent in an early Fathers Day gift - a shirt that said: "DADD - Dad's against Daughters Dating." He got lots of smiles, compliments and men wanting to join the club.
We had a great time once we got there - even made it to the KOA pool.
Made it back in time for a Father's Day BBQ at my sister and the father of their baby, Mikul. He did 3 selections of barbecued meat. This was really nice - we've gotten into bring your own meat and a pot-luck dish because for awhile there, we were doing most of the hosting. Only hard thing after my dad arrived, was Pam saying that since our family and my mom like to pray for our meals and they don't, that she was wondering how to handle it. I had just said my own private prayer to bless the food and express my sadness over the prayer issues before she came over. I asked if she wanted us to go to a corner of the yard and have a private prayer. She said no, that we could say it. I said we didn't want to offend anyone by praying if they didn't want to. Just about that time, Mikul's female cousin stood up, said they were ready to get started and she would pray. I thanked her after and told her how much I appreciated it. Maybe we weren't as alone as I thought!
Trent had a wonderful Fathers' Day other than not hearing from one child. She was taking care of her bio dad who had surgery to have his gall bladder removed and said she honestly didn't think about it. I feel for my sweety. He opened his heart to her the moment they met and she asked him if he would be her daddy. He has never treated our two oldest any different than the 3 we had together. Never complained about the thousands of dollars in extracurricular activities they participated in. We're not perfect parents, but we have always tried to be there for our children and do what's best for them with lots of thought and prayer in our decisions. My personal experience has been that you don't really get it until you've had kids of your own.
I used to resent my dad for not taking the family on vacations other than 2 weekend family reunions with his brothers each year. It wasn't until I had my own baby, that I was able to focus on the fact that he never took a vacation or sick day from work, because he was worried about not having enough money to support us if he was unemployed from his construction job in the winter. Now his body is worn out with arthritis after years of hard manual labor. He may not be the most genteel, proper, compassionate man there is, but he was faithful to my mom, and wanted us to be responsible adults. I think I have been just that.
Anyway, to all our wonderful dads! To my quick recovery from my surgery - as well as a speedy recovery to my ex-husband. Thanks to my beautiful children who have been there for me to help me with foot rubs, food and help with swim - oh and the hugs and kisses too! Thank you to my neighbors who brought dinner last night - sorry about the kitchen covered in dishes, items from under the faucetless kitchen sink!!!
And life goes on!
Our Amazing Journey
Butterfield Canyon Oct 2012
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
Sunday, June 2, 2013
Cranky Cuss Cuz?
Looking back on the past week, it really has been an amazing one. I finished my last full day of the school year 4 school days before my kiddos. Friday was the end of year party at my school. After bbq hamburgers at 2:00 in the afternoon it was announced that the Sunshine Committee wanted to play a game. Amazing how fast a bunch of teachers can flee. At first, I wasn't too keen on the idea myself. I helped clean up a little and then decided to take a peek in the gym to see who was in on the big event.
Not a whole lot of takers other than the principal, secretaries, those with the game idea, and a handful of others. My desire to support those with the idea was greater than that to preserve my comfort level, so I decided to join in. I really had a great time getting to know the group a lot better. The Special Education teachers were among those who fled the scene the moment the word "game" was mentioned.
We played "Werewolves of Miller Hollow." I was the hunter, which meant that if the powers that be decided to take me out, I could take someone out with me. It wasn't until the end that I became the target and either despite my protestations and efforts to move suspicions from me or because of it - I was targeted with 2 werewolves and 1 villager left in the game. I took out the one werewolf that wasn't linked by Cupid to the remaining villager. That is, if I had chosen either of the other two people, I would have unwittingly killed both the werewolf and the villager and the only remaining werewolf would have won the game. As it was, we had a tie between a werewolf and villager. If all this sounds like nonsense to you - let's chalk it up to ignorance of the game and not my writing! ;D
I had to order the game from Amazon for nine dollars and some odd cents for Kenzi to play at her 6th grade graduation party next Saturday. We decided to make it a day of parties with Kylee's birthday party followed by Lexi's birthday party and then Kenzi's graduation party. And, no, we don't really have 3 kids with birthdays in June. Steven's really turning 22 on June 10th, but Lexi and Kylee have August birthdays. Problem is, with the move to my school, all their friends will probably long have forgotten them by August since they don't live by us, and getting invitations to them when they aren't in school becomes a bigger expense and challenge
So then, why am I so cranky, you ask? Fear of the unknown is plaguing me. A few months ago I found a lump in my thigh. I had a cyst removed by my general practitioner about a year before between my neck and shoulder and it has grown back now. I didn't know who to see for a lump and after talking to my doctor's assistant and having them offer to cut it out for me, I wasn't sure what to do. Sure, it would save us money to have him do it, but I almost passed out from the cyst and this is quite a bit bigger. So, I did nothing. The lump has now gone from something I could feel, to something that is clearly visible and looks to be about the size of an egg. Last Sunday after Trent getting mad at me and saying he didn't want to lose me and that I needed to get this taken care of (I had also considered the possibility that it could lead to something serious (probably not, but...) so to have him thinking the same thing didn't help. Or maybe it did. I contacted IMC Cancer Center and they emailed me back with an orthopedic surgeon who specializes in sarcomas. Got my appointment for Thursday. That's all been moving around in my brain just below the surface at all times. And sadly, it's effecting my reliability. I completely forgot that I had offered to usher at Pioneer Theatre Company for Memorial Weekend with my mom. She completely forgot too. Maybe she has to chalk her faux pas to age.
I find myself impatient and short-tempered with Trent when he doesn't remember what I said to him 2 seconds before or isn't listening to me, but deciding how to handle my problems without my input.
We went to the temple yesterday. I had male names that needed initiatory and just female names needing endowment before we have the group ready for sealings. When given the choice, Trent said he wanted to do initiatory and that he would pick me up in front of the temple when I was finished. I just missed the session so I was 20 minutes later than he expected me. When I finally got to the car waiting for me, not only did he not seem put out, he had gone to Great Harvest and gotten my favorite "orange craisin scones."
Then, after a graduation party, a trip to Jordan Landing for the girls and arriving back home, we again remembered our desperate need for 9 volt batteries. He didn't want to go alone, but I still had a newsletter to finish. I should also mention that I had gone to Sam's earlier in the day and forgot to get them myself earlier. We had gotten to the point yesterday that 10+ smoke detectors that have begun beeping at us all at once. To be fair about 4 were going off throughout the house the past couple months, but this weekend, it seemed like they all joined in until I finally couldn't stand the idea of us all dying in our sleep as the house burned down around us. Unfortunately, out of hearing range, out of mind, because instead of the batteries, I ended up with a whole slough of yard and swim items and no batteries. So, even though Trent wasn't thrilled to do it, he showed up with a drink for me when he arrived home. And then proceeded to replace the batteries. The house hasn't been this beep-free for months!
That's not to mention the dozen roses he brought me to work last Tuesday saying he knew I needed a pick-me-up, I am so proud of him when I see him teach swim lessons and have fun with the kids.
He has been such a support to me. I can't imagine what my life would be without him. Everyone deserves to have that special someone to make them feel cherished and loved. To all those who have experienced the opposite, I say be patient and don't settle for less!
Not a whole lot of takers other than the principal, secretaries, those with the game idea, and a handful of others. My desire to support those with the idea was greater than that to preserve my comfort level, so I decided to join in. I really had a great time getting to know the group a lot better. The Special Education teachers were among those who fled the scene the moment the word "game" was mentioned.
We played "Werewolves of Miller Hollow." I was the hunter, which meant that if the powers that be decided to take me out, I could take someone out with me. It wasn't until the end that I became the target and either despite my protestations and efforts to move suspicions from me or because of it - I was targeted with 2 werewolves and 1 villager left in the game. I took out the one werewolf that wasn't linked by Cupid to the remaining villager. That is, if I had chosen either of the other two people, I would have unwittingly killed both the werewolf and the villager and the only remaining werewolf would have won the game. As it was, we had a tie between a werewolf and villager. If all this sounds like nonsense to you - let's chalk it up to ignorance of the game and not my writing! ;D
I had to order the game from Amazon for nine dollars and some odd cents for Kenzi to play at her 6th grade graduation party next Saturday. We decided to make it a day of parties with Kylee's birthday party followed by Lexi's birthday party and then Kenzi's graduation party. And, no, we don't really have 3 kids with birthdays in June. Steven's really turning 22 on June 10th, but Lexi and Kylee have August birthdays. Problem is, with the move to my school, all their friends will probably long have forgotten them by August since they don't live by us, and getting invitations to them when they aren't in school becomes a bigger expense and challenge
So then, why am I so cranky, you ask? Fear of the unknown is plaguing me. A few months ago I found a lump in my thigh. I had a cyst removed by my general practitioner about a year before between my neck and shoulder and it has grown back now. I didn't know who to see for a lump and after talking to my doctor's assistant and having them offer to cut it out for me, I wasn't sure what to do. Sure, it would save us money to have him do it, but I almost passed out from the cyst and this is quite a bit bigger. So, I did nothing. The lump has now gone from something I could feel, to something that is clearly visible and looks to be about the size of an egg. Last Sunday after Trent getting mad at me and saying he didn't want to lose me and that I needed to get this taken care of (I had also considered the possibility that it could lead to something serious (probably not, but...) so to have him thinking the same thing didn't help. Or maybe it did. I contacted IMC Cancer Center and they emailed me back with an orthopedic surgeon who specializes in sarcomas. Got my appointment for Thursday. That's all been moving around in my brain just below the surface at all times. And sadly, it's effecting my reliability. I completely forgot that I had offered to usher at Pioneer Theatre Company for Memorial Weekend with my mom. She completely forgot too. Maybe she has to chalk her faux pas to age.
I find myself impatient and short-tempered with Trent when he doesn't remember what I said to him 2 seconds before or isn't listening to me, but deciding how to handle my problems without my input.
We went to the temple yesterday. I had male names that needed initiatory and just female names needing endowment before we have the group ready for sealings. When given the choice, Trent said he wanted to do initiatory and that he would pick me up in front of the temple when I was finished. I just missed the session so I was 20 minutes later than he expected me. When I finally got to the car waiting for me, not only did he not seem put out, he had gone to Great Harvest and gotten my favorite "orange craisin scones."
Then, after a graduation party, a trip to Jordan Landing for the girls and arriving back home, we again remembered our desperate need for 9 volt batteries. He didn't want to go alone, but I still had a newsletter to finish. I should also mention that I had gone to Sam's earlier in the day and forgot to get them myself earlier. We had gotten to the point yesterday that 10+ smoke detectors that have begun beeping at us all at once. To be fair about 4 were going off throughout the house the past couple months, but this weekend, it seemed like they all joined in until I finally couldn't stand the idea of us all dying in our sleep as the house burned down around us. Unfortunately, out of hearing range, out of mind, because instead of the batteries, I ended up with a whole slough of yard and swim items and no batteries. So, even though Trent wasn't thrilled to do it, he showed up with a drink for me when he arrived home. And then proceeded to replace the batteries. The house hasn't been this beep-free for months!
That's not to mention the dozen roses he brought me to work last Tuesday saying he knew I needed a pick-me-up, I am so proud of him when I see him teach swim lessons and have fun with the kids.
He has been such a support to me. I can't imagine what my life would be without him. Everyone deserves to have that special someone to make them feel cherished and loved. To all those who have experienced the opposite, I say be patient and don't settle for less!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)