For years now, I have worked off and on, writing my story of being a survivor of abuse. Several months ago, my best friend of 30+ years, inspired me to take a few steps to get me back into the project.
- I reworked my first few chapters of my book and asked my good friend, recently retired English teacher, Janice to read through it. She told me it was much better than she had expected and other than a few commas, there wasn't much to be changed.
- I looked up my local ANWA writer's group and attended my first meeting. The group critiqued my first chapter. The consensus was that it was very gripping, excellent writing, and that they wanted more of the relationship with my daughter and the advice I had for her. I agreed with their advice... and made a few changes.
- I registered to attend the Storymakers Conference http://ldstorymakers.com/in May and submitted my first chapter in their "First Chapter" contest. Results will be announced at the conference, but at the very least, several authors will have read through it and given their critiques.
- Yesterday I attended the "Write Here in Ephraim"http://shirleybahlmann.weebly.com/write-here-in-ephraim.html conference. It was amazing!
- I have now made the following goals:
- Write on this blog I set up in 2011! The question I have is: "Is it worth dredging up my past feelings and emotions that I have all but buried for the most part? If I can help another person avoid getting in to an abusive relationship or a victim get out, then yes, I believe it is worth the sacrifice. I hope to find out if there is anyone out there interested in what I have to say. Abel Keogh, blogger, author and widower, shared during a class he taught yesterday, that he discovered that people don't really care if something bad happened to you. It's more about what you have to offer that someone else doesn't. There are tons of people who have gone through divorces. This weekend, most every woman I talked to had been through their own divorce. I'm hoping to discover if what I have to say can help or uplift another soul.
- Submit a few short stories to publications I learned about yesterday.
- Join ANWA and see where it takes me .
- Sonja Herbert made the comment that my book would never get published until I was over any anger and bitterness towards my ex. I have been over any anger and bitterness towards him for years now. . .except on very rare occasions when he does something that that isn't helping our daughter come closer to Christ and our Heavenly Father. Those are hardly the same as the feelings I was experiencing when he was trying to stick it to me after I left him or the abuse I experienced during our 7 1/2 year marriage. And honestly, even the night I left him, I wasn't feeling anger or bitterness toward him, but pain and sorrow and acceptance that nothing I could do was going to change him. I finally realized that "charity suffereth long" doesn't mean allowing yourself to be abused. This quote from Aileen H. Clyde, who was serving as the 2nd counselor in the Relief Society General Presidency back when I was going through my abusive marriage gave me a new understanding of what "Charity Suffereth Long" means. . .
"If charity is not always quick to our understanding, it may occasionally be quick to our misunderstanding. It is not charity or kindness to endure any type of abuse or unrighteousness that may be inflicted on us by others. God’s commandment that as we love him, we must respect ourselves, suggests we must not accept disrespect from others. It is not charity to let another repeatedly deny our divine nature and agency. It is not charity to bow down in despair and helplessness. That kind of suffering should be ended, and that is very difficult to do alone. There are priesthood leaders and other loving servants who will give aid and strength when they know of the need. We must be willing to let others help us." http://www.lds.org/ensign/1991/11/charity-suffereth-long?lang=eng&query=charity
Thanks to the wonderful ladies I spent Saturday with: Jeanette & Susan. I was very happy to learn these things together. You both inspire me!
Finally, I feel very grateful to have such a wonderful husband who I can learn and grow with. He doesn't let a day go by without telling me how beautiful and loved I am. It is so wonderful to feel cherished and adored. Marriage isn't easy and ours is not perfect, but we are both committed to learning and growing together in creating a Celestial Marriage. I think we also have much to share about what we are learning to make our own marriage strong and ever lasting.
Until next time...
Valerie
